style / mindset / simplicity
style / mindset / simplicity
This is a BIG weekend for our family. July 22 is our Boulder anniversary. Five years. Looking back now, it’s almost impossible to recall the people we were ‘before Boulder’. I don’t think I’d recognize the family that stood inside our empty Pennsylvania home watching a jam-packed ABF truck drive down our driveway.
What a difference five years makes.
The five of us are forever changed (individually and as a unit) because we decided to take a risk and step outside our comfort zone. There are so many positives that came with relocating to a new state. The lens we view life through widened and shifted. Our perspectives grew. We learned that we are capable of adapting, even when things feel scary and uncertain.
We have grown and stretched and become more resilient than we ever imagined we could. We’ve each made incredible friends. And we learned that old friendships often deepen when tested by distance.
As a family, our bond is tighter than ever. Launching ourselves into an unfamiliar world caused us to lean in. We discovered that no matter what, we always have each other’s backs.
Colorado feeds our souls.
We love the dry air and the abundant sunshine. We feel at home here and often wonder why we waited so long to make the move.
I need to be completely honest. The past five years have not been all sunny hikes, kale smoothies and mountain views.
The past five years have been hard. Really, really hard.
Not quite four months after moving to Colorado, we faced a sudden and serious financial crisis. We were blindsided. We were just beginning to acclimate to our new life when things swiftly crumbled. The proverbial rug-pulling sent us toppling. We were left emotionally devastated and financially unstable.
The situation was intense and painful. Lots of hurt and betrayal for everyone involved.
Thankfully, in the midst of that initial mess, there were some reassuring highs.
We experienced humbling generosity from family and friends, our kids continued to thrive despite real challenges and intense household stress and we never once doubted that Colorado was 'home'. Matthew and I turned to each other. We hunkered down to weather the storm together. We emerged eager to rebuild.
The rebuilding process has been anything but smooth. It's basically been a roller coaster. Each high has been followed by another terrifying free fall. Every time we thought we were on the right track, we were derailed.
Most days it seems we’ve taken more steps backwards than forwards. It’s been exhausting.
FEAR, DISAPPOINTMENT, STRESS and SHAME have been my constant companions.
Thankfully, Matthew and I built our marriage on a sturdy foundation and we’ve remained pretty solid despite the never-ending (mainly financial) roadblocks.
But strain and tension eventually take their toll. We're feeling the erosion of our connection. We realize now that we spent way too many months subsisting on constant worry and daily pleasantries. We allowed the bad stuff to far outweigh the good.
We're openly communicating with the intent to clean up our mess and return to solid ground. We're committed to doing things in a whole new way moving forward and we're trying hard to be excited about it! (Aren't we, babe? ;-)
Please don’t get me wrong... we certainly have experienced moments of real joy over the past five years…
And we are incredibly grateful for a wealth of blessings…
WHAT HAPPENED TO FUN?
In the midst of survival mode, we sacrificed the fun. We barely remembered how to be happy. We let fun all but completely disappear from our lives.
I’m much to blame for this development. I resisted affordable fun because it felt frivolous in the face of our financial mess.
Actually, even 'free fun' seemed off limits. Reserved for those who felt joyful, which most of the time… I definitely did not. I felt scared and anxious and worried. Fun didn’t fit in my life. I rarely smiled. I felt stuck and sad.
WHY AM I SHARING ALL OF THIS?
Because I spend my days helping women create and live their best lives. I teach them how to declutter their wardrobes, homes and minds. I love the work I do. And I’m damn good at it.
I believe in cultivating a life that is simple, authentic and beautiful. I wanted to open up here and share a bit more of my story. It's one more way I'm letting go of the past and moving ahead. Authentically.
I don’t want anyone to think that I have it all figured out. I don’t want this blog or my Instagram feed to make it seem like my act is always together. Because it definitely is not.
During the past five years my offerings here have changed. I’ve been asked why I rarely write posts about style and fashion anymore. I guess it’s clear now that I’ve needed to explore other topics to save my own soul and answer my own deep questions. My hope is that some of that searching and seeking has helped you, too.
I’ve learned so much since our family arrived in Boulder five years ago. I’ve excavated my fears and my desires. I’m in the early days of another fresh start... slowly learning to release the lack mentality that once cluttered my every thought. I'm facing old limiting beliefs and redefining my personal version of a simple, authentic and beautiful life.
Matthew and I have been clinging to the bottom rung of the ladder for far too long.
It’s time to start climbing.
Sharing this truth gives me the strength to grab the next rung.
I don’t believe life is meant to be easy. But I do believe in being honest and humble. I've learned that by sharing our struggles along with our triumphs, we are all better for it.
If I’ve scared you off, I understand. It’s often easier to think others have it all figured out. I’m sorry for disappointing you. Thank you for the time you've spent here. I wish you the best and hope our paths cross again one day.
If you’re not planning to click ‘unsubscribe’, I thank you for staying. I promise to keep it real and to continue exploring topics that seem timely and important to all of us right now. Style included:-)
NOTE: Regarding blog posts, I ask for your patience. I'm going to play it by ear for the rest of the summer. I plan to enjoy time with my family and prepare the class I'll be teaching at NINE Retreat in September. I'll also be showing up more on Instagram... I'd love to have you follow along!
I'm looking forward to incorporating some fun into this special weekend. Five years feels huge now that we're clearing the path for an awesome future!
If you're struggling, please know that you are not alone. We all have some darkness that we carefully hide from others. Maybe it's time for you to reveal a bit of your truth to someone. Or to the entire internet:-)
Thanks for being here. If you have any questions for me, I'll gladly answer them. Comment below or for more privacy, email me at email@example.com
Have a wonderful week.