How are you feeling these days?


My hope is that you're weathering the 2020 storm with grace and ease. If not, try to remember that like all things, this is temporary. Take another deep breath and then do what you can to create a sense of calm amidst the chaos. 


What can you do in the final stretch of the most bizarre year ever to finish on a high note?


We’ve pivoted until we’re dizzy and we still aren’t sure we’re heading in the right direction. (And if you’re like me, you’re kinda over the word ‘pivot’!) 

At a time when anything I could offer feels at best trite and unnecessary, and at worst, tone-deaf, I've been pretty quiet. Yet, I know that I function best when I have a place to focus my attention and my energy. 

Today, that meant writing. I decided to share my thoughts on what to do now… with the hopes that you'll take away even a single nugget that helps, inspires or soothes you. The original list felt too long, so I'll be tossing out a few ideas at a time over the next few weeks. 

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These humble musings are based solely on what’s been working for me as I continue to navigate all the things*. I’ve realized after almost seven months of basically staying at home, I feel less overwhelmed when I concentrate on the things I can actually control. 

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As you may already know, The Together Act (website) and Excited Chills (blog) have merged. I recently refreshed my brand + business. This Journal is now part of the new site.  (See below for more details on how to navigate the Journal.) 

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First off, THANK YOU for being here.

I know you have a huge pool of online content to choose from these days and I'm honored that you're choosing to spend time with me.


I hope you and your loved ones are healthy and well during this bizarre, frightening, unprecedented COVID-19 pandemic situation. 


I feel overwhelming gratitude for my family’s health and wellbeing. At the same time, my heart hurts for all the people who are truly suffering. With the future so unclear, I’ve been trying to simply embrace + enjoy this unexpected time with my big kids who wouldn’t ordinarily be at home right now. Though there are definite downsides, I see the silver lining, for sure. 


Sheltering in place has provided an interesting pause in everyone’s normal. For me, that pause included not posting about style... because by mid-March, that topic began to feel unnecessary, irrelevant and even insensitive. 


But I’ve missed writing.

I've missed having a fun place to put my attention. 
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I've missed offering what I hope are helpful style + simplicity + mindset tips. 

And I’m actually ready to think about clothing again. 

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This unprecedented Stay-At-Home phase has offered so many unusual opportunities to see things in a different light. My own thoughts and choices when it's time to get dressed each day have proven to be an interesting 'style study'. 


Here’s what I’ve learned about my personal style during the past 8+ weeks... 



I crave inspiration. 

I miss seeing other women dressed in real clothes! I now realize how inspired I am by the women I work with both in closets + at Anthropologie. 

I miss seeing beautiful clothing displays in stores. I'm not a huge shopper, yet I really enjoy the change of seasons as presented in an apparel retail environment. I miss the ever-changing Anthro displays. 

I have been seeking some online inspiration. If this pandemic lasts much longer or I ever find myself in a SAH situation again, I'm definitely going to rethink my WFH style. 

These two women seem to be doing quarantine-style right...

Katelyn from @katelyn.baginski
Sandra from @thisisfiftysomething




Comfort is crucial. 

I've learned that I absolutely cannot (will not) work from home in uncomfortable clothes. As a general rule, I only buy clothing that is super comfortable. However, I'm discovering that my requirements for 'super comfortable' in my pre-COVID life are somewhat different than in my constantlowgradepanic, stayathome247 life. 

In addition to basic comfort, I want a feeling of luxury. Soft, beautiful, cozy fabrics that make me feel nurtured. I want flattering, easy shapes that make me forget that I've been eating + drinking a bit more than normal. Think: comfort food. I currently crave comfort clothing. 

Nothing tight, especially around the waist. TBH, I get a stomachache from any waistband that’s even a touch too snug. Is it just me? 

Nothing itchy or scratchy. Or stiff or heavy. 

Nothing fussy or flouncy. Who wants wet sleeves when washing dishes? 




Too hot, too cold... just right.

Temperature control matters. Especially since we're all inside while the seasons change. At first I was dressing for winter, now spring, next summer. I've been relying on multiple layers to ensure that I can find that 'just right' temperature in every room of my home.

Scarves have been super helpful to take the chill off. And there's the added bonus of making me feel a tiny bit chic while I sit at my computer. I keep a scarf on the back of my chair to use casually drape around my neck as needed. C'est la vie.




Repeat performance.

I now realize that I’m perfectly comfortable wearing the same clothing for several days in a row (like until it's completely stretched out or I spill something on it;-). There's zero shame in being an outfit repeater. In fact, I find this actually makes my life easier by eliminating decision fatique when getting dressed in the morning. And it helps keep the laundry pile down.

My quarantine clothes are feeling a bit like I remember my maternity clothes feeling after two straight months of wearing the same few combos. I’m almost at the point of ‘if I never see these sweat pants again it will be too soon!’

I've realized that I don’t need much to feel comfortable and put together. Right now, the unworn clothing hanging in my closet seems excessive, almost frivolous. Shopping still feels unsafe. And what’s the hurry? I’m not sure when I’ll be going out again regularly + I already have plenty. 




What I miss. 
(Strictly with regards to clothing. Obviously, I miss HUGS and restaurants!) 

I miss blazers. Oh, I do miss blazers. I haven’t worn one in months because they don't fall into the comfort clothes category. 

I miss my shoes! I've only worn slippers and sneakers for months. My shoes are lonely. 




What I need.
Nothing, honestly. But the first thing I’m buying when the mall reopens? New bras and panties! Staying at home for so long has made me aware of the sad state of my lingerie collection. I really do feel better on the days when I wear my prettier underwear. Time to uplevel my undergarments. 


What’s helping you feel beautiful during these strange times? 

What are you tired of wearing on repeat? 


Please share! I love hearing what's happening in your world. 


If you'd like to uplevel your stay-at-home style, I'm offering special online sessions to do just that! We'll work together to solve your wardrobe struggles and create new outfits using what you already own.

Check out Fresh Style for the New Normal!

Let me know if you have any questions. 

Stay well. 

xx Kristen 

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P.S. 
Vintage Blog Posts: You can still access past blog posts with the search bar above. Simply type the subject you’re curious about into the search bar and you’ll find a list of blog posts containing that subject. Click on the preview to be taken to the full post. Having trouble locating a vintage post, email me and I’ll help. kristen@kristencainstyle.com



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When most women hear ‘Capsule Wardrobe’ they picture a very limited number of garments resulting in a boring, restrictive wardrobe. They’re quick to list all the reasons why they could NEVER wear a wardrobe like that. Maybe you feel the same way, like you couldn’t possibly get dressed if your clothing options were intentionally limited. 


For reference, the origins of the Capsule Wardrobe...

“The term capsule wardrobe was coined by Susie Faux, owner of the West End, London boutique “Wardrobe”, in the 1970s to refer to a collection of essential items of clothing that would not go out of fashion, and therefore could be worn for multiple seasons. The aim was to update this collection with seasonal pieces to provide something to wear for any occasion without buying many new items of clothing”


As we seek to simplify our lives, this type of wardrobe has been gaining popularity. When it comes to Capsule Wardrobes, there are countless websites, books, and blogs offering all the specifics on how, why and how many. The details vary, but most capsules contain between 10-60 garments. Usually, the 'ideal' number hovers around 40. 


I think it’s important to remember that it’s not about the numbers. It’s about having enough clothing to feel confident when getting dressed for any situation, but not having radically more than you need or use. 


You want to feel supported by your wardrobe, not overwhelmed. 

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Here's the shocker... you’re likely already wearing a Capsule Wardrobe. For well over a decade, statistics have shown that the average American woman wears 20% of her clothes, 80% of the time. That’s essentially a capsule wardrobe! Think about it, if you have 20 tops but you regularly wear only 4 or 5 of those tops... that's about 20% or a 'capsule' of tops. 


The important thing to realize is that the capsule you’re currently wearing has likely been curated by default. It’s probably a capsule made up of clothing that requires the least amount of thought, is the easiest to slip on and/or the most accessible in your over-stuffed closet. Consider what you wear most often... I'm talking about the go-to outfits that you rely on over and over and over because they're easy. That's your capsule wardrobe. 


The items in your capsule right now might not be your favorites, but you wear them on repeat because they’re relatively effortless. 


But what if,every item in your ‘capsule’ was something you LOVED? The same number of go-to outfits, but you actually felt amazing every time you got dressed. Sounds dreamy, huh? 

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​Here’s how simplifying your life (especifically your wardrobe) makes traveling easier! And more fun… 



No Packing Overwhelm 

Once you declutter your wardrobe, packing for a trip becomes so much easier! Your closet holds only pieces you love. All of your clothing fits and flatters your body, right now. Everything is organized so you can see what you have and quickly gather the pieces you want to take. Honestly, this is basically reason enough to finally declutter! 

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Know your favorites

As you begin to curate a life that includes only things that spark joy, you start to identify your favorites. Unapologetically. You no longer settle for almost-good-enough in any category, including travel supplies. It was only after I decluttered all the crappy, bean-bag and inflatable travel pillows that I finally purchased one that really sparks joy. (Sharing my favorite travel essentials tomorrow on Instagram.)

By creating a life full of ‘favorites’, you weed out the junk. You uplevel every aspect of your life because you no longer tolerate what doesn’t work for you. For instance, during my decluttering project, it became crystal clear that I never actually use the ‘samples’ (little packets of moisturizers, shampoos, creams, etc) that I’d been saving to use for travel. So, I tossed them ALL and now I only take the products I know I love! In between trips, I keep my travel-sized bottles topped off and ready to roll. 



Souvenirs

Simplifying affects travel shopping two ways... By becoming a better packer, you’ll actually have room to bring a few things home... if you want. And since you only surround yourself with what truly sparks joy, you don't bring home a ton of junk you don't really love or need. (add link to travel post) 

Here’s what I will buy when traveling…  I prefer to shop outdoor/street markets when traveling. I love to buy scarves, jewelry, shoes, unframed art, simple items that will remind me of the trip. My favorites collected over the years include a small hand-painted ceramic bowl from Mexico that we use for sea salt and scarves purchase from street vendors in Paris and Madrid. 



The Actual Packing

I’ve been COO (carry-on only) for over a decade. A beautiful bi-product of using a carry-on bag is that you’re forced to pack lighter, thus ‘decluttering’ the packing process.

I’m a rolling convert. I fought it for years but I now firmly believe rolled clothing takes up less space.

I also love packing cubes. They’re great for separating clothing into categories… workout clothes, sleep clothes + undergarments, tops, bottoms, whatever works best for you.

Take what you love. For years, I took my mediocre/okay clothes on vacation because I didn’t want to risk something happening to my favorite pieces. Now, I only own my favorite pieces so I happily pack what I love and wear those things with joy. 



Unpacking

This might be one of the best perks of traveling post-decluttering! It’s SO easy to unpack because you didn’t have to trash your closet/bedroom before you left to find what you wanted to take. As part of simplifying and delcuttering, you create a place for everything. When you return from a trip, it's actually easy to unpack! Your suitcase, packing cubes, toiletries, clothing, and accessories can all be returned to their proper home. 



Are we friends yet on Instagram? Hope so, because tomorrow I'll be sharing my favorite travel essentials! 

Are you in the process of simplifying your life? What's one benefit that's surprised you?

Questions about creating a simple, authentic, beautiful life? Just ask. 

Thanks for being here. 

Cheers,

xo Kristen 

Most of us don’t want to look fancy in our daily lives, we simply want to look put-together. And we want looking great to be effortless. The trouble is we often over-complicate things and end up with a look that feels contrived or just off. 


What defines great style?

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It’s almost elusive. You can likely recognize a beautifully-made dress or a well-cut blouse, but what makes a woman just look amazing? Nothing really stands out, but she has a certain something. Her style captivates and makes us wonder, how does she do that? We often can’t put our finger on why she looks so incredible. But there’s definitely something… 

I’ve spent decades in fitting rooms and closets. Over the years, I’ve paid close attention to what makes a woman look amazing. I’ve studied stylish women in an effort to discover what they all have in common. 

I’ve identified some specific elements that add up to ‘effortless chic’. These elements aren't super obvious. They're almost hidden behind the scenes, doing gentle work to capture our attention. However subtle, I believe these things are key if you want to create a wardrobe that allows you to look put-together with ease.


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​Five Hidden Components of Great Style:


#1 The Foundation 

I believe the core elements of a fantastic wardrobe should be fairly simple. For the most part, effortless style is built on the basics. Cultivate a collection of pieces in shapes, colors, and styles that can be worn in multiple ways for many seasons. Usually, the women we notice for looking chic and put-together, are wearing a combination of well-made, understated garments. 



#2 The Third Piece

This is the holy grail of great outfits. The cornerstone of amazing style. This component changes everything. Thoughtfully adding a ‘third piece’ is what elevates an outfit and takes it from okay to incredible! It can be a jacket or cardigan, a piece of jewelry, a scarf, a hat, or an amazing belt. It’s this third piece that pulls the ENTIRE look together.    



#3 Fewer Better

Take this two ways…
First, choose high-quality pieces. Some advise that you buy the ‘best version you can afford’. By investing in well-designed, well-constructed clothing, shoes, and accessories, you instantly up the odds that you’ll look amazing.

Second, ignore the urge to add one more thing. Consider the old advertising adage… K I S S - Keep It Simple, Sister. (actually, it’s Stupid, not Sister, but that’s sounds mean). When in doubt, don’t add another accessory, maybe even remove one. Less is often more when it comes to looking fabulous. 
    


#4 Authenticity 

In order to have a wardrobe that works for you, it’s crucial that you choose clothing that feels authentic for YOU. Not what works for your best friend, or your daughter or the salesperson at your favorite store. Get clear on YOUR style and dress accordingly. Master this and having great style becomes much easier! Don’t settle. Commit to wearing only what lights YOU up!  

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#5 Confidence
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Once you start owning your style and rocking it, getting dressed is no longer stressful. Confidence in what you’re wearing is game-changing. This can require a bit of ‘act as if’ in the beginning, so start before you’re ready. Be brave. Just wear the outfit and see how it feels! (See #4. When you’re dressing authentically, you will automatically have more confidence.)


Ready to change things up? Do your own research. Start paying attention to women who have great style. See if you can identify one or more of these elements. Then experiment in your own life. Give it a try and see how quickly your style improves!

Questions about how to start creating your own amazing style? Just ask. 

Thanks for being here. 

Cheers! 
xo Kristen 


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My amazing husband turned 50 this week! (Finally) Happy Birthday, Matthew! Welcome to the club! In honor of this wonderful milestone, I’m sharing my thoughts on the perceived challenges of age-appropriate dressing. For this conversation, aging = anything over 30. ;-) 

Aging often seems to decrease our confidence when it comes to getting dressed. We begin to question the latest trends and feel overwhelmed when it’s time to shop. So we hang out in our (style) comfort zone… wearing what’s familiar but not necessarily current and we end up feeling blah and uninspired by our clothes. 

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Over the years I’ve identified some of the roadblocks women face when it comes to getting dressed as they age.   


Roadblock #1
You’re afraid of looking like you’re trying too hard so you don’t try at all. You’re unsure of what works at this stage, so you stick with what’s worked in the past and end up looking dated and irrelevant. You know you could look better, but you hold back, not wanting to stand out. You're so concerned with not crossing the line, that you stay far behind it. 

What does trying too hard actually look like? Usually, it's TOO MUCH of something. Too short, too tight, too trendy, too matchy, too distressed, too sparkly, too revealing…

The flip side is not trying hard enough. Giving up. Hiding. Playing small. No effort, no plan. But every woman you know wears yoga pants all the time. So what? How do YOU want to show up in the world? You have one life. Why not show up looking and feeling fabulous?! Maybe you'll raise the bar for those other women. ;-) 



Roadblock #2
You’re old enough to feel like you should have this figured out. It seems ridiculous that something as simple as getting dressed could be a struggle. You’re smart and savvy and a little embarrassed that you still don’t have a wardrobe you love. So you ignore the issue and continue wearing what once worked… only you know it’s no longer really working. 

It’s okay to ask for help! You don’t need to have this all figured out. Find someone who can help you break out of your style rut and get current! A trusted salesperson, your daughter, an honest (stylish) friend, a style coach… 



Roadblock #3
You have a bunch of limiting beliefs about style. We’ve all collected these since childhood… and most of them can be tossed aside! We have some bizzare ideas of what's not acceptable to wear past a certain age. Here are a few I hear often... I'm too old for white jeans, bare shoulders, bohemian dresses or tops, and distressed denim is for 20-somethings... All NONSENSE!

When you try something on and feel yourself question whether or not it’s age-appropriate, pay close attention to where the idea is coming from. Is that notion lingering from a past experience? If so, maybe dip your toe into the world of boho dresses or ripped denim… 

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Roadblock #4 
You don’t know your style. First, you must identify how you want to look, then you can begin to cultivate a wardrobe you love wearing! How do you want to present yourself to the world today? It’s not too late. Reinvention is a good thing. Spend time exploring your ideal style. Then decide who you want to be at this stage of your life and begin creating a wardrobe for her! 

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Roadblock #5 
You lack inspiration. Maybe you're following the wrong style crowd. Until recently, the media wanted us to believe that we’d missed our chance to be beautiful, sexy, stylish, fabulous. Now there are examples of stylish women in every decade of life. Go find them!

Seek out older women who are rocking a look you love. Follow them on social media. Hang up their photo as a reminder that it's okay to show up! Ask yourself, what would she wear? 


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After spending decades in fitting rooms and closets, I've discovered that there are basially two types of women when it comes to shoes. 

1. TOO MANY- Women who buy ALL the shoes. A different pair for every outfit. Having too many shoes is more expensive and more time-consuming when shopping and getting dressed. And requires more effort for storing and maintaining. 

2. NOT ENOUGH- Women who avoid buying shoes. ‘Can I get away with owning just two pairs of shoes?' Too few shoes… means you never feel like you have what you need to really feel put-together. You're always wishing you had the right shoes and you're caught unprepared for some events. 

(I tend to be a more of a 2;-) 

So what's just right when it comes to shoes?
This will be different for everyone. There is no exact formula or correct answer for how many pairs of shoes a woman should own. I believe you should own enough shoes that you feel prepared for almost any occasion, but not overwhelmed when deciding which pair to slip on. 


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I consider myself lucky because my ‘office’ is often a closet, fitting room or shoe aisle! ;-) It’s an honor to help women create a wardrobe they love wearing. Each phase of the process thrills me. The style-defining, the decluttering, the editing, the shopping, and the outfit creating. My 'job' is to empower a client to define how she wants to show up in the world and then help her cultivate a wardrobe that supports her vision!

I love what I do!  

Last week, I had the pure pleasure of spending time in Arizona with three amazing clients. Each woman had a slightly different need, but all of them wanted guidance in creating a wardrobe that they actually want to wear. A wardrobe that feels authentic and comfortable, and also supports the life they live daily. 

We had so much fun! 

I want to share some takeaways from our style and simplicity sessions. (Beyond the obvious takeaways... that Arizona in January is dreamy! And that palm trees feed my soul.) 
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Common wardrobe hurdles… 

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Hangers
Prior to working with me, my clients often tell me that they don’t have enough hangers (or closet space;-) They’ve maxed out their space and don’t have a single hanger to spare. Just like not buying bins to organize your clutter, please don’t buy more hangers in an attempt to organize your clothes. Purge and edit first! You’ll be surprised how many hangers appear when you keep only the clothes that you love. 117 comes to mind. ;-)


Shoes
“What shoes do I wear with this?” 
“I like my outfit until it’s time to put on shoes!” 
“I never feel like I have the right footwear to finish the look” 
“I’ll only wear comfortable shoes so my shoes are frumpy” 

Many great outfits seem to fall apart at the shoes. If this feels familiar, I urge you to make shoes a priority! Commit to finding two or three pairs of current, stylish (comfortable) shoes that you absolutely love! Pick shoes that go with basically everything you own. You can’t go wrong with good quality, classic shapes in neutral colors. (I’ve recently discovered that the shoe struggle is real! So, I’ll be doing a deeper dive into the whole shoe situation soon!)


Authentic (Life) Style  
Yes, it’s possible to dress authentically in every area of your life. Yet, with a variety of events and activities, it often seems easiest to default to yoga pants even when you’d rather wear ‘real clothes’. The reality is that feeling great in different situations usually requires different clothing. Work, kids’ sports, workouts, school events, date night, brunch with friends, the list goes on. You might be crushing the date night wardrobe but struggle to look put together at soccer. Maybe you’ve mastered business-casual but have nothing fun to wear for lunch with friends. I get it, you want to look and feel like YOU for every occasion!  

What to do? Define your personal style based on what feels authentic for you in each activity. Decide who you want to be at work, on a date, at school pick-up… a great wardrobe supports your entire life. (That doesn’t mean you need a lot of clothes, it simply means you need clothes that work for the life you live... so stop buying date tops if what you're missing is comfy sideline clothes) The idea is to create a few small capsules within your wardrobe.


Shopping Mindset
Most of my clients tell me that they HATE to shop. I believe that’s part of the problem. There’s a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy at play when we declare we hate something and then do it and end up hating it… thus confirming our thoughts and feelings. You're manifesting the experience you don't want before you even begin! 

I think it’s imperative to go into a shopping experience with a positive attitude and a wide-open mind. Prior to leaving your house, imagine that the trip is going to be wildly successful! Believe it. Before I shop, I give myself a pep talk... ‘In addition to the perfect parking spot, I’m going to easily find everything I’m looking for at just the right price!’ Try it! I bet you’ll be surprised by how the Universe shows up to support you! 

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It’s not your body, it’s the clothes
So many of my clients are waiting. Waiting to create a wardrobe they love until they have a body they love. Here’s the truth… women look incredible in clothes that spark joy for them. The fact is that each of us has our own unique shape and size, and we come to life in clothing we truly love! Commit to only buying and wearing clothes that make you feel unstoppable! When you feel beautiful, powerful, dazzling… that’s what the world sees! It’s foolproof. 


Thanks for reading. Please let me know if there's a topic you'd like me to cover. I'd also love to know if this resonates. Share your thoughts! 

Have a super week. 
Happy February!
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xo Kristen 


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It’s been over two weeks since I started my FREEDOM from clutter project. I’m proud to report that I have shown up every single day, taking action to move the needle towards a clutter-free life. I purged and edited even when I didn’t feel like it, at all! I ignored my usual tendency to do ‘just enough’ but not actually finish the job. 

I made piles.

So many piles.

And then I made decisions about the contents of the piles. Truth be told, I'm still handling those piles, but that's okay. I'm getting it done! 

And I can finally see the light. I can feel that something has shifted. I've cleared space in my home and in my mind. I no longer have the nagging feeling that if I could just get a handle on the clutter, I’d be more productive and happier. I feel lighter than I’ve felt in years, maybe decades. I have less stuff!

During this project, I've learned a whole lot about myself and my abilities. I see more clearly how I tend to sabotage my efforts. As a result, I quickly developed some workarounds to keep me on track.
If you dream of creating FREEDOM from clutter, don’t wait any longer.

I promise that the benefits start as soon as you do. 

Sharing six truths I've learned while decluttering...  

Lack versus Abundance.
​So often, we equate having lots of stuff with being abundant. I struggled with this for years. In a period of financial struggle, it felt necessary/safe to hold on to all the things. I now realize that keeping stuff we aren't using or don't love, does not create abundance. It creates overwhelm. That thinking simply perpetuates feelings of lack. "If I let this go, I won't have enough". "This stuff is worth money so I have to keep it". Abundance is a mindset. 

Containers and bins.
Breaking up with containers was tough for me. Stylish, practical, free... doesn't matter, I love a good storage vessel. But… I’ve learned that I love white space even more. Do the deep work of purging first, then if you truly need them, buy a few great containers. 

Saving the good stuff. 
If you’re saving something for a special occasion or the perfect opportunity… today’s the day! Life is a special occasion! You’re worth the good china, luxury bath soap, and fancy tea. Start living that way. 

But, what if?
"What if I need it someday?" When exactly is someday? How long is too long to hang on to stuff we’re not using? Be honest with yourself. How likely is it that you’ll ever use the stuff you’re putting in the ‘what if’ category. Let it go. Chances are if you need it in the future, you’ll be able to buy or borrow the item again. 

Pretend you’re moving.
Ahh, the perfect catalyst for a major purge! Declutter like a move is in your near future. As you edit, truly consider, would this item earn a place in your new home? Would you want to pay to move it? Keep only what you'd be happy to pack and unpack. 

What's your story? 
My neatly orgainzed clutter was holding me back personally and professionally. Yet, I tried to tell myself that it didn’t really matter. That I could handle the stuff in the future. That it really wasn’t that bad. (And likely it wasn’t that bad to someone else) But I couldn’t stop thinking about the stuff! I wanted it gone. What story are you telling yourself that's keeping you from handling your clutter? Identify your story. 

While I’m not finished yet, the freedom I already feel is fuel for my decluttering fire! This is my year. The clutter-free life I’ve been fantasizing about is finally within reach. 

Are you craving FREEDOM from clutter? What’s holding you back?


I'm happy to share any part of my decluttering/purging/editing/donating/selling process. Just ask! It's not always been pretty, but I'm getting somewhere!! 
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xo Kristen 


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I am fully aware that many areas of my home are orderly and organized and high-functioning. Those aren’t the areas I’m referring to here. 

I’m talking about the stuff that’s not visible to guests or in my Instagram images. The unworn clothing that hangs in my closet, the piles that have taken root in random places, the contents of boxes waiting to be used someday...

There's a lot of carefully organized clutter that resides in my house but isn’t enhancing my life in any way. This stuff overwhelms me whenever I see it or even think about it. I've reached the tipping point. I'm taking deliberate action. This full-disclosure is a little embarassing for me since purging and organizing are part of my job. I'm a Style & Simplicity Coach, for goodness sake! I should have this handled already. 

If you'd like to join me, here's how I'm going to create FREEDOM from the stuff... 

The Plan:
Treat myself like a client. How do I help a client sort through the mental and physical clutter that’s holding her back? 

Find Clarity:
Determine what areas of my home are causing anxiety. What are the actual problem areas?
How would I feel if these areas were clutter-free?
What would change for me if I handled those black holes and hot spots?

The Work:

• Determine what actually needs to happen to transform those spaces
• Break down the big jobs into manageable tasks
• Decide approximately how long each task will take
• Schedule the tasks for this month
• Commit to doing the work
• Stay motivated by imagining how amazing it will feel to finally have the clutter gone! 
• Find inspiration/pick a mentor- Who's space looks and feels like my dream? 
• Ask what would ________ do? (I've been known to say this out loud;-) In my case, it’s "What would Jackie do?"

(Note: Jackie is a special human and a very dear friend. She's super inspiring. She's also that friend, the one with the uber-cool house. Jackie has cultivated a home that feels like freedom. It's a space where I'd love to sip coffee every morning or where I'd gladly house-sit for the rest of the year.) 

Who’s your Jackie? How would she handle your clutter? 

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Here are my tips for a Clutter Revolution: 

Ma’am, step away from the bins.
Don’t buy a single container until you’ve completed a heavy purge!! (I shared my thoughts in a YouTube video) It’s tempting to buy all the pretty bins. The displays are everywhere right now. Retailers know how you feel in January. You want order after a season of chaos. What’s easier than dumping all that stuff into a fancy box? I get it, but don’t do it. Purge first. Then, if there are things you truly need to store and organize… go grab some cool bins. 

Be ruthless when purging.
An abundance mentality starts here. Saving things for ‘someday’ is often the same as saying “I'm worried that I won’t be able to acquire this again so I have to hold onto it forever”. I’ve done extensive work on my previous lack mentality. I know that I create more abundance when I’m willing to let go of the things that aren’t serving me, instead of holding onto them 'just in case’. I love the idea of keeping only what you find to be useful, beautiful or both. 

Be patient and be kind.
Accept the fact that it will likely get worse before it gets better. That’s okay. The clutter didn’t appear overnight and it won’t disappear that fast either. Settle in and do it right… or you’ll likely be looking at similar clutter in a few months. And, give yourself grace. Don't beat yourself up for dragging your feet on delcuttering or for the piles of unnecessary stuff you've accumulated over the years. When you know better, you can do better. (I'm repeating this step to myself:-) 

Celebrate the wins!
Find a way to reward yourself after you’ve finished decluttering, or even along the way. This is helpful when you feel like giving up. But, your reward shouldn’t be buying more stuff! Instead, take a long walk with a friend, or go on a lunch date with your husband. Treat yourself to a manicure after hauling a load to consignment, or plan a party to show off your newly decluttered home! 


I'm excited to begin! I show up daily on Instagram. Follow me on IG for behind-the-scenes updates to my FREEDOM project! 

If this resonates with you, please share! I'd love to know that I'm not alone as I head into 2020 seeking freedom from my stuff. :-) Thanks for being here.

Wishing you a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year! 

xo Kristen 

It seems that the clothing racks and tables at Costco are more tempting this time of year. Maybe it's that we're all a little busier in December and we love the idea of 'one-stop-shopping'. Whatever the reason, I've had several women ask what I think about buying clothes from Costco. So, I'm sharing my thoughts. 

The short answer is this... 

I think it's fine to buy clothes at Costco. 

BUT... 
Only if you apply the same rules that you'd use when shopping at a stylish boutique.

Do you love it?
Can you wear it with at least three things you already own?
Is it flattering?
Is it comfortable? 
Is it well made?
Is it within your budget? 
Would you buy it at a higher price? 

If you can answer YES to the questions above... go for it! 

I spend a lot of time in closets and very often when my clients and I are doing a wardrobe edit, there are a few Costco finds that have never been worn. My client will then admit that she bought the item(s) because it seemed like such a great deal, but once she got it home the piece wasn't as great as she thought. And since no one wants to wait in the sometimes lengthy return line at Costco, the unworn garments just collect dust and guilt in the closet. If you sense that might be the fate of the Costco garment you're considering, please put it back on the table and head to the baguette aisle. :-) 

Full disclosure: I do currently own one piece of clothing from Costco. You can see it in the video below... 

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Thanks for being here. Please let me know if you have any questions. And I'd love to know if you have any amazing pieces from Costco. 

Cheers! 
xo Kristen 

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I’m feeling a bit rusty as I sit to write this post. In my recent absence from this space, I’ve been growing and grieving and exploring what’s next. Since we’ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in the U.S. this week, I first want to express my gratitude for your support of The Together Act over the years. The fact that you show up here to read my words means so much to me. I’m forever grateful.

Lately, I’ve been digging deep in search of the best way to serve my clients, blog readers, Instagram followers and YouTube subscribers. While I am clear on my very minor role in the world of online accounts, I take my responsibility to share valuable content quite seriously. 

In an effort to streamline and simplify, I’m making some changes to the way I show up online. For instance, I’ve committed to sharing style and simplicity tips on Instagram and I’m enjoying the real-time interaction with a like-minded community. I’ve also begun posting more consistently on YouTube. All that to say, this blog has been on the back burner. (I'm guessing you've noticed;-) 

Moving forward I'll be sharing the same content across the board… blog, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. If you prefer to follow me in only one place, I’d suggest Instagram. I post to IG daily and do my best to ‘serve’ there by sharing valuable content relating to style and simplicity. 

Are we friends on Instagram yet? 
You can find me at https://www.instagram.com/togetheract

And...once a week, I’ll create a concise blog post to share what I feel is the most important content from my Instagram feed. 

I’d love for you to stick around as this space evolves. However, if Style and Simplicity isn’t what you need right now, please feel free to unsubscribe below. I get it, there’s so much content out there that we have to pick favorites. No hard feelings. Come back anytime. 

I’m including my most recent YouTube videos below so that you can catch up on what’s I’ve been sharing. 

I welcome your thoughts, comments and requests for future content topics.

I hope you have a wonderful week. Thank you for being here. Change is good. 

xo Kristen 

Of my three children, he’s often the most like me. Note the painful joy as he eats a pizza! Yet, unlike me, he’s calm, even-tempered and rarely flustered. He’s proudly named after his maternal grandfather. He’s a first-born son and a middle child. Today, I find myself reminiscing and reflecting as he turns eighteen. Thanks for indulging me.

Peter has been dropping truth bombs since he was a child.

Three of my most favorite Peter Tales follow…

The Phantom Horse
It’s the day before Thanksgiving. Matthew has gone to pick up the turkey at Whole Foods. The kids and I are home getting the house ready. We’re hosting.

It’s misty and foggy outside. I’m getting dressed in my bathroom. As I come out into the family room, Peter announces that he just saw a horse in our front yard. He’s four years old.

Okay, sure. Whatever you say.

I ask a few questions, showing my interest in his tall tale. He carefully explains what transpired while I was in the bathroom.

The horse is brown and really big. It ran that way, right past the front window!

Wow, a real horse. That’s very interesting.

I look outside, I definitely don’t see a horse.

Moments later, he mentions that the horse is now out back. I play along, asking questions. The dark, dreary day adds to the mystery of this invisible horse. I look again. No horse.

Seconds later, as I stand in the kitchen, I watch a really big brown horse run right past our front windows. I gasp and go to the door. The horse is in a frenzied, full-blown gallop around our house. My mouth hangs open. My horse-crazed daughter runs to her room to grab a bridle, certain she can tame this lovely, wild creature.

Peter is squealing with joy and a hint of ‘I told you so’ delight.

The story ends with a neighbor coaxing the horse into their barn. Turns out something had spooked the animal causing it to jump the fence and enjoy a tour of our neighborhood. 

You’d think this experience would have been enough to make me take Peter’s word for anything… but no. It took a couple more truth bombs for me to get there.

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The Tomato Plague
Something was eating my gorgeous tomato plants. The leaves were being destroyed. The plant was dying. I was convinced it was some sort of Tomato Plague. I was puzzled by this development as I'd always been able to grow tomatoes easily. Then I spied a large, (big as my index finger) lumpy, bright green worm on the back of a leaf. Young Peter took one look and was quick to chime in…

That’s a Tomato Hornworm.

Huh?  A what? 

Yeah, I’m positive it's a Tomato Hornworm! I read about them in that nature book Grandma Karen gave us. It’s in my room. I’ll go get it.

He reappeared a few minutes later with the nature book. His dirty fingers tucked securely inside, carefully marking the correct spot. Sure enough… a two-page spread on the Tomato Hornworm.

​Peter read from the book, educating me on this unusual looking bug as if he'd spent years researching it's existence. It was identical to the intriguing creature that was devouring my tomato plants. The same creature that I’d never heard of in my entire life!



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I can’t imagine any work more important than the work we do on ourselves. I didn’t always feel this way. For me, the idea of bettering myself first sprouted in my thirties and started growing like a weed around the time I turned 40. Almost overnight, my appetite for information on how to evolve and become my best self was voracious. Without giving it much conscious thought… I was on a quest.

I researched and read. I listened and learned. I Googled. And then I Googled some more.

Yet, the radical change I hungered for wasn’t happening.

Why not?

Mainly, because I didn’t take much action. I was deliberately accumulating facts and gaining knowledge, and that felt good… but I certainly wasn’t stretching past my comfort zone. I wasn’t doing the things that would actually promote change. And I certainly wasn’t sharing my dream of transformation with anyone. I didn’t have a community committed to helping me elevate to the next level.

Instead, I privately hunkered down in the land of ‘data collection’. I was actively studying others who were living their best lives and hoping that alone would somehow transform mine.

Silly me. Clearly, that didn’t work.
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What did work? Read on…

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I received lots of questions regarding what on earth I was doing in the photo above (that photo originally appeared in my last blog post). Understandably. The image captured me looking wild, passionate and alive! Completely overcome. 100% engaged. Far out of my comfort zone!
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The photo was taken during a process at BOLD Advanced Leadership. BOLD is a personal growth boot-camp of sorts that I attended in January. BOLD is a fast-paced, intense experience that rockets your leadership skills into a whole new stratosphere! BOLD helps you own your role as a leader. It's safe to say that you'll blow your own mind:-) and come away with skills that will instantly up-level your professional life and your personal life. 

Back to the picture... I won’t share the details of the exercise (in case you decide to go to BOLD yourself) but I will say that I was celebrating a big win.

An imagined win. A yet-to-actually-occur-in-real-time win, but boy could I feel it!

Looking at that photo reminds me what it feels like to live my best life.
To up-level to a place where I barely recognize myself.
To be ALL IN!

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A bit of back story...
About 18 months ago, I finally pushed beyond the research phase and began to take super real, deliberate action. I stepped cautiously into the world of immersive personal development. I learned the game-changing element of having a tribe.

I went to a retreat.   

I’ve now attended three ‘retreats’. The growth that came from those combined 13 days has been epic. Far exceeding all the growth that occurred during my decades of solo research and development.

I showed up and spent time on myself. As a result, I’ve been able to give something incredible to my family, friends, coworkers, clients…  the gift of me finally becoming my best self.

I can imagine what you might be thinking…

‘Kristen, there is no way I could ever step away from my family or job for a week’

‘That sounds nice, but I can’t afford it’

‘It’s selfish to attend a retreat’

‘I’d be so scared of what others there would think about me’

‘Retreat? Don’t you mean cult?’

I get it. I remember thinking all of those thoughts.

Mostly, it seemed super indulgent to even consider attending a retreat. It felt lofty to even write ‘Attend a women’s retreat’ on my Live List.

Yet, I wrote it.

And then, I silently hoped that the right opportunity would appear when I was ready…. years later, when I finally had my act together;-)

Again, silly me. The whole idea is to begin before you’re ready!

Looking back, it’s hard to remember the girl I was before I attended my first retreat.


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Are you curious about a retreat or some other cool experience that would give you a nudge and quite possibly rock your world for the best? 

Here are five things to keep in mind...

1. Pay attention to the pull.
The right retreat or growth experience will find you. When it does, the tug might feel (extremely) uncomfortable. Feel that. Allow it to settle in.

Every fiber of your being might want to go, and yet you’ll resist. (For me, it became painful to even think about NINE because I couldn’t imagine how I could actually make it work yet, I knew I had to go.) Recognize that this could be THE thing you’ve been waiting for. Dig in. Do the research. Listen to your gut. You’ll know…

2. Ignore your limiting beliefs.
If you’re like me, there will be immediate back-talk from your brilliant mind when you begin to consider attending something outside of your comfort zone. Totally normal. Let your mind do its thing. And then take a breath and let go of all the reasons why you ‘can’t’. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

It certainly wasn’t feasible for me to attend NINE Retreat in September, 2017. Greta was just starting her freshman year of college. Financially, it was the worst possible timing. We truly couldn’t ‘afford’ for me to go. But I stayed open and I believed that it would unfold perfectly. I let go of my limiting beliefs and trusted the Universe. The stars aligned and the amazing women who founded NINE helped me see that I could make it work. And… the next two retreat experiences became possible ONLY because I bravely stepped past my limiting beliefs.
If you’d like info about the 'how to make it happen' part, I’m happy to share. Email me at kristen@togetheract.com

3. Commit.
How badly do you want it? Are you sick and tired enough? Are you ready to leap and start living your best life? Then find the event, retreat, conference, etc. that you believe will launch you and commit to it. Stop at nothing to make sure you secure your spot in the front row. No wimping out. No excuses. Do you want to up-level your life or not? ALL IN!
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 4. Don't get stuck. 
Don't become lost in the researching or the retreating. Know when to stop researching. I understand this tendency. Remember, I’m all about the research phase. I existed comfortably in this stage for a little too long. Don’t get stuck there. Gather the info. Attend your thing or things and then get on with transforming your life so that you can live it! In other words, don’t keep searching when it’s really time to take action. Along the same lines, the goal is not to make 'attending retreats' your life's work. If retreat hopping becomes your new comfort zone, you’re wasting time and money.

5. Embrace the group.
There is powerful energy in a group of humans who are seeking the same thing. Spending time with like-minded people helps us shift because we’re all working towards a common goal. In intense, immersive situations, strangers quickly form bonds. A team mentality emerges. Suddenly, you have an incredible support system. They know your weaknesses and your strengths. They celebrate your wins and hold you accountable. Most importantly, they have your back as you begin to test the waters of your best life! When you find even a tiny tribe that feeds your soul, keep them close. Nurture the new relationships. Elevate each other. 


Your ‘best life’ is waiting. Find what stretches you and lean in!

I'll gladly share more about NINE Retreat and BOLD - Advanced Leadership. These are top-notch organizations. Both are founded by badass women who have a passion for personal development and are highly skilled at bringing out the very best in everyone who attends. The internal shifts and take-aways are game-changing for your relationships, business/professional life and personal growth. Want more info? Comment below or email me at kristen@togetheract.com

Have you ever attended a retreat or conference that changed your life? Tell me more... 


Happy March! 
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Still a little rusty, but it's good to be back. 

xo Kristen


Full disclosure: This is not an affiliate post of any kind. I am not compensated for promoting NINE or BOLD. I simply wanted to share my thoughts. Since attending my first NINE Retreat I've become part of the NINE team. I am honored to be the Assistant Director of The NINE Collective. 

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Here’s where I’ve been…
​
I spent August soaking up time with my family and preparing to drop Greta off in Boston for her sophomore year of college. (A note regarding college drop-off… I can assure you that round two of leaving your child alone in another city still sucks, but it sucks less this year. The ache is there, but the pain is not as visceral. It feels like we’ll all survive this time around. Thank goodness!)

I also spent time sitting with the reality that Matthew and I are in the home stretch of parenting children. The boys are both high school upperclassmen… Peter is a senior and Henry is a junior. It takes my breath away to even type the words. Time can certainly feel like a thief.

In July, I shared my truth. I told my story. I wrote a very personal post and then explored the vulnerability that followed.

Seems I’ve entered a new stage of life… one where coming clean feels better than hiding or pretending.

​Authenticity is a driving force for me now and I welcome it.

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Then, NINE. I spent a week in Montana with a group of remarkable women. Each on a courageous journey to find her voice and own her power. 

My life is better because of these beautiful badasses!

This was my second time attending a NINE Retreat. Last year in Vermont, I was a student. This year, I had the profound honor of being both a student and a teacher. The class I taught on Style and Simplicity brought awareness to the fact that I have some new work to do. 

Creating a life you love is a process and a practice.

I realize that there are additional changes I can make to further align me with my very best life. 
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For example...

Simplifying at home. I’ve decluttered. I know the trouble zones in our home. I’m tired to wishing areas would fix themselves:-) I’m committed to tweaking things so that our space feels simple, authentic and beautiful.  

Strengthening my relationships. With my husband, family, friends. I want more laughter. I want to welcome the people I adore into my home. I’ve kept friends at a distance. I'm ready to feel deeply connected to other humans.

Challenging myself to ‘show up’ in new ways (whitewater rafting included;-)... I started this blog for two main reasons; to push myself to write regularly and to provide guidance to women wanting to create amazing lives… starting with their wardrobe. I still love both of those things, but I realize I want a more intimate connection with women and I crave a more interactive community.

I discovered this summer, after coaching women one-on-one and teaching at NINE, that I want to personally help more women transform their lives.

I genuinely love watching the sparkle return to a woman’s eyes as she realizes that she holds the power to change her life! (See, I am a Transformation Junkie!)

So…
I’m asking big questions and allowing stillness while I wait for the answers. As I figure out the next steps, I’m planning to cut back on my blog posts. Right now, I don’t feel that I can deliver valuable content every single week… and I don’t want to waste your time.

I’m feeling the pull to explore new avenues, so I plan to... 

Embrace Instagram. I’ve avoided this long enough. I love Instagram. My life is enriched by many of the women I follow daily. I’ve been waiting in the wings. Receiving lots, but sharing little. I’m going to play around with IG and see what feels authentic for me. Stay tuned. @togetheract... if you'd like to follow along. 

Speak to groups. I come from a family of educators (My parent were both teachers and my sister is an English professor). I never wanted to teach in a traditional classroom, but I’m excited about helping women in a group setting. I love the energy of women encouraging and inspiring each other with their stories.

Coach. I’m opening up my schedule to include more coaching. I offer one-on-one and small group sessions, held virtually and in-person. These interactions feed my soul and allow me to connect in a meaningful way with women who are seeking strategies and tools to create a better life.

NINE Retreat. I’ve been asked to join the NINE team!!! I’ll be working with the owners (Rockstars Kym Ventola and Kimberly Goeman) to help create an outreach/follow-up program for the women who attend the retreats. In addition, I’ll be part of the new NINE Collective. The Collective will allow women who’ve never experienced NINE to join NINE alum in a local monthly group of like-minded women. So cool!!

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I’m not yet sure what shape this blog space will take moving forward. I’m taking the time to really listen to my heart and do what feels best. As I’ve mentioned here before, I’m considering shorter posts that relate to a life that’s simple, authentic and beautiful. I’m also interested in creating a newsletter/journal/carefully curated sampling of the things ‘on my radar’. Maybe five things that feel worth sharing, sent monthly. Have a great idea for me? I’m open. Please share.

I have a touch of sadness that it’s almost October and I won’t be participating in the Write 31 Days challenge. I’ve enjoyed being a part of that community for the past 4 years. But I fully grasp that nothing is permanent. Everything changes. (My posts for the 2015, 2016 and 2017 challenges can be found below in The Simple Collective)

Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for your patience as I sort out what’s next.

Have magnificent fall.
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Whatever that thing is that you’ve been waiting to begin… start today!

xoxo Kristen

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​Nature doesn’t hurry, yet everything is accomplished. 
​   
-Lao Tzu

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​I first read the quote above years ago when my children were small. Since then it has often served as a reminder for me to stop rushing and trust a more peaceful pace.

Nature has the power to slow us down and provide us with quick relief from the craziness of real life. Our planet has the ability to ground us. (I mean, gravity literally keeps us attached to the ground... how's that for a reminder? :-) 

Whether it’s the majesty of a mountain range or a vast expansive ocean, ‘big nature’ helps us to remember our small place in the grand scheme of the Universe.

And miniature offerings of nature’s magic remind us of the wonder… ladybugs, spiders on their webs, the tiniest flower.
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When was the last time you let yourself really embrace the "WOW' factor right outside your door? 

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I believe I live in one of the most beautiful areas of the United States of America. And while I’m still awestruck by the view as I walk to my car from Target or Home Depot, I sometimes forget to utilize the incredible gift that nature provides.

Being outside gives me the opportunity to step away from my mental and physical stuff and connect with something bigger. The Great Outdoors has the ability to empower and inspire us. To calm and soothe. To expand and recharge. 

Let nature work it's magic on you. 

Do you opt outside when life feels too busy to breathe?

I urge you to try it.

Put your toes in the sand or in the green grass.
Find a favorite rock or leaf and hold it in your hand.
Pick (or if needed buy) yourself some flowers.
Enjoy the shade and give thanks to the tree that provides it.
Find a dark sky and become overwhelmed by the stars! 

For me, there’s no quicker way to put my problems in perspective than to catch a glimpse of the Milky Way!

Nature relaxes me and helps me move out of a lack mindset.

Everywhere I look, there’s abundance.
Blades of grass on a lawn 
Leaves on a single tree
Flowers in a meadow
Raindrops or snowflakes
Water in a lake

The coolest thing? All of the mind-blowing, centering energy of Planet Earth is available to us every minute of every day!

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​Everyone should have themselves regularly overwhelmed by Nature. 

-George Harrison 

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​Wise words. I couldn't agree more. Thanks for being here. I'd love to know... How will you find your dose of nature's medicine today? 

Have a wonderful week. 
​
xo Kristen
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Please don’t get me wrong... we certainly have experienced moments of real joy over the past five years…

• Our children’s many successes
• Summiting a few 14ers
• Celebrating 25 birthdays. (How can that be?)
• Welcoming family and friends to Boulder
• New jobs

And we are incredibly grateful for a wealth of blessings…

• ​Our good health
• Food in our kitchen
• A roof over our heads
• A constant outpouring of love and support from family and friends
• Living in a place we love

WHAT HAPPENED TO FUN?

In the midst of survival mode, we sacrificed the fun. We barely remembered how to be happy. We let fun all but completely disappear from our lives. 

I’m much to blame for this development. I resisted affordable fun because it felt frivolous in the face of our financial mess.

Actually, even 'free fun' seemed off limits. Reserved for those who felt joyful, which most of the time… I definitely did not. I felt scared and anxious and worried. Fun didn’t fit in my life. I rarely smiled. I felt stuck and sad.

​

Greta turns 19 today.
​
(Happy Birthday to my very favorite girl!) 
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The next trip around the sun will lead her to a new decade. That fast, Greta’s teenage years will be over.

The idea that she’s now hovering at the edge twenty… seems ridiculous! Thankfully, I still have 365 days to prepare myself for that milestone!

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Is it possible to not blink for twelve whole months? I’m going to try.
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